The Chair

Sometimes discipline doesn’t need to be a spanking; it can be something a simple as standing in the corner, writing lines or even a ‘time-out.” While most of the time Jim believes that spanking is the most effective way to deal with issues between us, we’ve also experimented with non-spanking DD from time to time. This issue of whether DD HAS to be spanking comes up often on DD discussion groups. Jim and I clearly think the answer to that is no: DD stands for Domestic Discipline. Discipline means “to teach.” Ultimately, that’s always the goal.

As you all know we have had more than the “normal” amount of stress going on in our lives. We are in the process of moving, and we’ve just been through a wedding. We’ve got concerns about a close family member who is not in good health. I’ve been updating the e-book site Romanticspankings.com This type of schedule can lead to some pretty stressful moments, and a few breakdowns along the way. This is exactly what happened the other night that landed me in “The Chair.”

About 5 years ago, just by accident Jim discovered that I really benefited with stepping back from whatever it is that is making me “freak out” and taking a deep breath.

I had just moved to a complicated new accounting system, and I had not done any training. Usually, I’m pretty quick with things, but this was a full-featured accounting package and for someone with no accounting background, it was more than I could handle, just to open the software and be on my merry way. We’d hired a bookkeeper to come in and help me set up the system, but as usual, I didn’t want to wait. Jim told me more than once that the money wasn’t going anywhere for the next 48 hours, but it was too much for me to resist

Jim was living a few hours away from me at the time and he was at my house that weekend. When he arrived I was totally losing it, frustrated, angry, and just worn out. Jim knew that I hadn’t done any of this on purpose, and while he was a bit frustrated that I had not waited for the helper, he also seemed to have some sixth sense at this moment that a spanking was not in order. He thought it would just make me more upset and not help. So he made a decision to pull me from the situation, have me step away to regroup. In my family room was a chair that had been in the family for many years, a true antique.

He walked me out of my office, away from the computer and into the family room to “the chair.” (I really thought at this point that he was going to spank me.) He sat me down and told me not to move, until he came back to get me.

We had never even discussed using a “time-out” or something like that as behavior modification. For us, at this point in our relationship, it had been all spanking – with an occasional foray into want we’ll term euphemistically as “anal discipline.” So the idea of a time out was very odd to me. I hardly knew how to respond.

Jim just looked at me and told me to stay there. He also told me that he thought this was what I needed… but that if I defied him by getting out of the chair, I WOULD get a spanking. I didn’t want to stay there, I was sullen and pouty about it, but I also did not want a spanking. So I sat.

He unpacked, played with the dogs for a bit, and then started dinner. During this time he checked on me a few times. I am sure the first few times I was still pouting, and wouldn’t even look at him. I didn’t want to sit in a flippin’ chair. I wanted to be fixing my computer problem, damn it!

But eventually I started to relax, and realized that they meat he’d thrown on the grill was starting to smell really good. About fifteen minutes later, he walked in and said I could get up.

It was kind of funny at that point, because I almost didn’t want to. I was relaxed – not worrying about what was on the computer at that point – and was actually enjoying the down time. But about ten minutes later I went into the kitchen, put my arms around him, and thanked him. He was right. A time out was exactly what I needed… and “The Chair” has stayed in our family rooms ever since.

Our Chair rules are simple. It is DD – and I don’t have a choice. If I get up or fuss too much I will get a spanking, mental state notwithstanding. I think I tested this once.

These past six weeks have been incredibly stressful for all of us, and sometimes I am wondering how we’re all holding it together. I went into the Chair last weekend. At first I was very upset about it – I didn’t need anyone to get into my face about anything, and I almost got myself a spanking for my attitude. I sat there almost an hour – not easy when the first thirty minutes I was still cruisin’ for a brusin’ , but as before – with every time Jim’s used this, by the end I was in a much better frame of mind.

We’ve found The Chair very useful for times when I’m working too hard, getting too frayed, etc, and can’t take a step back on my own. For anything “overt,” spanking is still the option of choice, but in our DD lifestyle, non-spanking “corrections” DO have their place.