I have been asked to scribble a few words about how to give an effective punishment spanking. For those of you thinking that's a redundancy, let me just say that spankings come in different types, for different purposes. Many couples practice spanking as erotic foreplay for years before they venture into DD. Even though DD is the only spanking interest for many couples, lots of them practice both.
That said, I will stick to describing disciplinary spanking between consenting couples, otherwise known as domestic discipline, DD for short.
These serve a variety of purposes including one or more of the following; Discipline (Maintaining general order and harmony, sometimes called Maintenance spankings) Punishment (Addressing specific misdemeanors) and Motivation (Encouragement to reach goals or avoid certain behaviors, such as the practice of bad habits, etc.)
While I'm sure there is probably nobody reading this who hasn't got a good idea of the rudiments of spanking, there are things that are important to a successful spanking no matter what the intended purpose. For that reason, experimenting with erotic or even just practice spankings, can be a good starting place. That way she can be free to say; "Wait a minute, I've got something to tell you." Some important feedback can be exchanged that way. Of course you needn't expect her to divulge all her secrets, but paying attention to her body language and verbal cues should tell you what you need to know.
The bottom is always bare for this kind of activity. There are a variety of reasons for this. You need to see the effects it's having on her bottom and that only shows on bare skin. It's also more intimate and for some reason, seems to be interpreted in terms of; "He really means business here!"
You may want to bare her bottom yourself, as a way of showing that you are in control of the situation. But having her cooperation in baring her own bottom and assuming the proper position when told to do so, is a sign of submission to, and agreement with what is about to happen. So just go with your personal preference.
I'd recommend starting with the time honored OTK position and at first I'd use the most comfortable version of it for both of you. That is with the spanker sitting on a couch or bed with the spankee bottom up across his lap and supporting her legs and upper body on the furniture. That way, she'll be able to concentrate on what's happening to her backside instead of how uncomfortable her position is.
Later on, I'll devote a few lines to implements and positions, but for now, the palm of your hand will work just fine. My first thought was that if my hand was going to used like a paddle it needed to look like one. I held it flat, ridged and straight from elbow to fingertips and swung from the shoulder. That hurts, but after you've given your first long, hard spanking that way, you may wonder which hurts more, her butt or your arm and hand. While you're soaking your swollen hand in Epsom Salts solution you may check your beloved's bottom and find some nasty bruises forming and they may cause one or both of you to reconsider the idea of spanking.
If the very thought of her wearing bruises after a spanking is a real sticking point, then you might want to reconsider because it will happen at times, even if you are careful. If you really want to give spanking a fair trial though, the first thing you need to do is stop thinking of your hand as a paddle. Think of it as something more flexible, such as a switch or strap and use it accordingly. Relax your hand and hold it out in front of you and look at it. You'll notice that the fingers naturally splay out with a fraction of an inch of space between them. Keep it relaxed and try it out on your own thigh a few times letting the wrist snap and swinging more from the elbow than the shoulder and unless you're the exception, you'll see the difference immediately. It will sting your thigh more than it does your hand.
The motion is more like flicking debris off your trousers then trying to connect with a fast ball, except that it's almost straight down. I say almost, because it's more of a circular motion that involves pulling your hand back on contact and letting it rebound with the natural resilience of your target.
That may sound complicated, but it's really simple and once you get the hang of it, you can give a longer, stingier spanking without as much bruising for her and less damage to your hand. The reason for that, is that you'll be striking with the more protected part of your hand instead of your knuckles.
One of the most common concerns of husbands who are new to the idea of spanking their wives, is; "What if I hurt her?"
The answer to that one is that spanking hurts, so if you don't hurt her, the whole exercise is a waste of time. What you want to avoid is causing any injury beyond a sore bottom. Rest assured that a woman's buttocks can absorb a lot more punishment without serious damage than you can inflict with the palm of your hand. So for now, at least, we'll stick to using the bare hand on the fullest, most protected part of her posterior anatomy. Trust me, this is not going to involve a trip to the emergency room.
Okay, so how hard do you need to spank? It would make your job and mine much easier if everyone had the same pain tolerance, skin tone, etc. Since we are all unique individuals, it's more complicated and that knowledge will only come with experience. I've read that you should always spank till the entire bottom is a uniform red in color. The problem with that is that people with light sensitive looking skin can have high pain tolerances. That means they may have an angry red colored set of cheeks after only a few spanks, when it's not really hurting all that much. That means that if you pay too much attention to skin color, she may think the whole thing is a joke.
On the other hand, a woman with darker skin can be in real distress and only have a slightly pink behind. To me, that means her vocal reactions and body language, are your best guide. These should of course be involuntary, or she's going to be able to get off too easily. "Ouch, that hurts!" is not usually involuntary.
For the first time, it's good to start off lightly and increase the force till you get a reaction, then take it from there. Not spanking too hard, but spanking longer while letting the sting build, is always a good option. Once you've spanked too hard, you can't go back and undo it.
How long does a good spanking last? Again, it varies with the individual. Knowing the lady very well, before you have her across your lap with her pants down, is the first step to arriving at a decision about how long to spank her.
Then when you answer the question; "Has this spanking accomplished its intended purpose?" you'll have the answer to your original question.
If it's sort of a "test drive" to let you both see what actually goes on during a spanking, then it's over when you have both learned what you wanted to know.
If it's your first real attempt to modify her behavior, it will be over when you're sure you've gotten her full attention and then spanked her for a little longer to make sure of it.
When you reach the point where you think she's had enough, you need to hold her in position and talk to her a little bit. If she's angry and defiant, you're not finished. If you let her up then, you may have a real struggle on your hands. I don't recommend risking that because someone may be injured, if that happens.
When she says she's sorry and will be good, and can convince you that she really means it, have her lie there for a few minutes while you rub her back, pat her bottom and tell her what a good girl she is and how proud you are of her for the way she took her first spanking. If she can respond calmly, you're done. If not, continue spanking till she can do that.
When she can give you the proper reaction, help her to a sitting position on your lap and hold and cuddle her while she calms down and you speak comforting words to her.
What you do after that is up to you. I like to "make up" as soon as we are both physically and emotionally up to it. But some couples have rules that don't allow sex immediately after a punishment because they are afraid that will make it too erotic to serve as real discipline, thus obscuring the fact that she needs to improve her behavior to avoid another spanking. Lots of women only want a good nap immediately after being given a hard spanking.
We all need to do what we think is right for us as a couple, not what someone else thinks is right.
I think this is a good place to stop for now.
In the next installment, I'll offer some answers to questions like; "What if she cries?" "Should she cry?" "I've spanked her till my hand hurts and she's still an incorrigible brat, what do I do now?"
In the meantime, get those panties down and start getting some experience. And of course, talk to her about it too.