In an undisclosed location in the rural West, an obscure
polygamous religious sect known as the Brethren provides a psychologist
with a glimpse into a world where "sister" wives live under the
rule of patriarchal husbands who believe that women - like children -are
not exempt from corporal punishment.
In surprisingly open first - person accounts, three of these wives and their
husband (with names changed to protect their identities) describe their feelings,
justification for and experiences living under such a system. Be cautioned
that these stories include realistic depictions of corporal punishment and
frank discussions on the polygamous lifestyle by a community that rejects
not just modern conveniences but political correctness as well.
Chapter One
It's just 5 a.m. and just getting light here, but that's the best time to hang laundry if you ask me. In less than three hours the sun will be completely up and the prairie where our farm sits will be bright and hot on this June day.
The others don't like laundry duty so it's usually left to me but I don't mind. I like being out here by myself away from the other women and all the kids. I like it so much that I don't even ask for help hauling the baskets of wash out here to these three long clothes lines.
I may be little but I ain't weak. I'm strong for a girl. In fact that's the first thing Ephraim said to me. I was choppin' firewood out back behind Papa's house. Ephraim came over to talk to him about buyin' a side of bacon from one of the hogs we'd just killed. I paused long enough to tell him where Papa was before pickin' the axe back up and swingin' it clean through a piece of wood.
"You're strong for a girl," is what he said and the way he smiled at me made me blush. Of course, I knowed him then as Mr. Turner. If the truth be known, I always thought he was handsome, even though he was old enough to be my pa. Only he won't old-looking and stooped over like my papa was in the last years of his life. He's always been straight and tall with a full head of shiny brown hair.
For awhile I got to where I'd try to sneak a look at Ephraim whenever he'd come over to buy eggs and milk from Papa. With his shiny buggy and big farm I think he had enough money to buy stuff from the store in town, but Ephraim's a man of faith and I know now he buyed a lot of eggs and such from us because he knowed we didn't have any money to speak of.
So back around fall a year ago I didn't think much of it when I seen Ephraim and my Papa talkin' real hard on the front porch. I figured maybe my Papa was workin' a deal to farm some land or something which I thought was great because I figured if Papa would feel like a workin' man again maybe he'd stop beatin' me.
It seemed at the time like it was happenin' more and more. My dad would wake up to find somebody had left a bag of corn for the chickens or some sugar for me to use in the pies I sold. I always thought such generosity was a blessing but I soon felt like it was kind of like a curse since my Papa hated gettin' charity because it always reminded him we needed it. And when he felt bad he'd find some reason to whup me. Could be cuz' the cornbread was too hot. Or too cold. Or because I hadn't hung the wash yet. But he'd cut a switch and push me down on the ground right in the yard and lay it across my back so hard that I couldn't move my arms for three days without it hurtin' somethin' awful.
So the day I was boiling wash and saw Papa and Ephraim all serious I prayed to Heavenly Father that they were workin' a deal that would make Pa feel worthwhile so them beatings would stop.
But in all my wildest imaginations could I ever have guessed I was what Ephraim was bargaining for.
That night Papa just kind of announced it to me like he was announcin' that he had sold a cow or a hog or somethin'.
"Ephraim is comin' to fetch you tomorrow and you two are to be married," he said, like that settled it.
I remember droppin' the pitcher of milk and thinkin' I should tell him I'd decide who to marry, but at the sound of the glass breakin' Papa was on his unsteady feet and lurchin' towards me with his fist raised - then he stopped. Guess he figured it best not to bruise me up now that I belonged to another man. So he just turned away and said to clean up the milk and go pack.
So I did and here I am today, one of Ephraim's wives. I'm the third one, and while Ephraim says we were all meant to be and one day we'll all be in heaven together I can tell you down here on earth that sharing a husband it isn't always easy.
For one thing, Sariah and Faith can be mean sometimes. I knowed they didn't really want me here at the start. After our sealing ceremony when I became part of the family, they hugged me and called me "sister" but I think that was for Ephraim's benefit. When he won't lookin' they shot me ugly looks. Things were worse once we got to the farm and Ephraim announced that I'd be sharing his bed that night. It had been Sariah's turn and I could tell she was mad because she started slamming things down on the table while she was servin' dinner. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say.
Finally after a few minutes of Sariah slingin' biscuits and milk around the table, Ephraim told her she was settin' a bad example for the whole family and that while he understood she was jealous, it was a sin. Sariah just burst into tears and said she didn't care. And Ephraim got up real slow and told Faith to take the kids outside to play. She said "What about dinner?" and he said dinner would keep. Then he looked at me and said, "Annalee you go help Faith with the young ones."
As we were herding the little ones out the door, I seen Ephraim take Sariah by the arm and lead her up the stairs.
Outside we took the kids over to the edge of our little pond to look for baby ducks that Faith told us she had seen the day before. But even from out there we could hear the sounds of steady smacks and Sariah cryin' and saying "Ow" and "Stop" and "I'm Sorry".
I looked at Faith but she acted like she didn't hear but I know she had to. I felt bad. Really bad. I felt like if I hadn't come here Ephraim wouldn't be beatin' Sariah. I felt like Faith was blamin' me for it. That made me feel like cryin'.
After about fifteen minutes, Ephraim rang the dinner bell by the front door. Faith said it was time to go back inside so I picked up Sariah's youngest daughter whose name I didn't know at the time - now I know it was Charity - so I could carry her back inside. We were almost at the door when I felt a tug on the sleeve of my dress. It was Faith. "Don't worry. It's not your fault," she said. "Sariah was like that when I came." Then she smiled and added, "And don't worry that Sariah's hurt. Ephraim's strict but he'll never harm you. He only punishes us for our own good."
I didn't know what to make of that. The only beatings I knowed of where what I got from Papa. It scared me to think that I had married a man who also gave beatings. But when I got back inside Sariah was warming up the biscuits on the woodstove and asked me in a real kind tone if I'd like to help. I could tell she had been crying but her whole attitude had changed. She even called me sister like she meant it.
Ephraim read from the scriptures and after that we finally ate supper. After that I got up to help with the dishes like I felt I was supposed to but Ephraim said my new sister-wives could tend to the kitchen and the children since the first night was going to be for us to spend together.
So I was excused from the domestic chores so I could be taken to the marriage bed by my new husband, but if truth be known I was so scared that I think I'd been happier if he had told me to do the chores instead. My mama had died when I was just ten and so she wasn't around to teach me how to be a good wife and what to expect of my wedding night. Although our family had been baptised into the Church, Papa wasn't a practicing member and had never taken another wife besides Mama. Maybe if he had been I could have asked one of his other wives what to expect. All Papa told me was to be good and do whatever my husband told me to do. That's all I knew and I didn't feel right about asking Sariah or Faith about it.
So suddenly there I was with my husband quoting from Songs of Solomon as he undressed me by the fadin' light of his upstairs bedroom window. My heart was poundin' and I felt like I should feel loved or in love or special. But all I felt was fear. I was real conscious of the sweat forming under my arms and wondered if he'd beat me like he beat Sariah if I didn't please him proper. And thinkin' that made me even more worried and right there - like a baby - I just busted out cryin'.
Ephraim stopped undressing me and just held . Then he said, "Why don't we talk for a minute." So we sat down on the edge of the bed. He told me he knew I was scared and that there was no reason to be. He said he was goin' to make love to me and that Heavenly Father ordained us being together and had ordained our union. He said it would be marvelous and wonderful and I'd be a full woman. Then he asked me if there was anything I wanted to ask him or tell him.
"Yessir," I said. "If I don't please you are you gonna beat me like you beat Sariah?"
Ephraim just looked at me for a minute like he was kind of shocked. Then he put his head down in his hands and rubbed his forehead.
He told me he knowed Papa beat me and that was one of the reasons Heavenly Father had told him to take me away - to save me from what Papa was doin'. He said as my husband he was given the authority to punish me if I did wrong, just as he had punished Sariah earlier for her sin of pride and jealousy. But he said he never had nor would beat one of his wives. He said he corrected his wives by striking their bottoms or legs and would never hit one of his wives in the face or anywhere else on their bodies. And he said he'd never do it out of anger, but only for our own good. Then he asked me if I understood. I said yes but I told him I was still scared that I'd be punished for not pleasing him. And he said being innocent is not a sin but a virtue and he was pleased that I didn't know how to please him and not to worry because he would teach me what I needed to know.
Then he kissed me on the lips and it won't scary or unpleasant. It was nice. He tasted like cloves. Then he kissed me again and moved his lips down my neck and as he did he slipped my shift down past my shoulders and just kept sliding it down until it was to my knees. I was layin' down now and so was he and he didn't have his shirt on, but I don't remember him takin' it off neither.
Ephraim was gentle with me. Real gentle. He was so gentle that when he touched me I won't afraid any more. I felt like my skin was wakin' up under his fingers. His mouth was everywhere on my breasts and I heard myself moan in a voice I didn't know I had. When he touched me between my legs my hips popped up off the bed and I was shamed and blushed and told him no but he said I was doin' just fine and called me his flower. Then he was on top of me and I felt him pressin' against me and I felt pressure. It hurt but it felt good and then he got real still and then the next thing I knowed his mouth was on mine and he pushed hard and I felt like something inside popped and I screamed. But his mouth was still on mine and I had it in my mind that he had swallowed my scream and at that moment I felt like something inside was washin' over my nerves and I was reminded of how the wind comes across the prarie in rushes 'cause that's how it felt. And even though it hurt it was beautiful and Ephraim was sayin' my name and tellin' me that he'd never let me go and I knowed then that I loved him as my husband.
After our first night together, Ephraim took me to his bed two more nights in a row. I loved bein' with him but I could tell it bothered my sister-wives, especially Sariah. But neither her nor Faith dared show it to him because I think they feared getting punished. I stopped lookin' at it as a beatin' given what Ephraim had said to me, but I still figured it was bad enough to scare Sariah and Faith into bein' good.
But I felt terrible lonely when I won't with Ephraim. A couple of times I almost asked him to ask Sariah and Faith to be nice to me but I was afraid I'd only get them in trouble so I left it alone, and my conversations with them those first days was limited to instructions on tending the the children and chores and such.
Then one day towards the end of my first week on the farm, Hyrum - Faith's boy who was about three at the time - went missin' from the dinner table when the other four kids came in for dinner. Faith was stirrin' a pot of stew and Sariah was nursin' baby Ella and asked me if I'd go fetch Faith's boy. So I went outside and called and called. He didn't answer me but then I seen him over by the barn pokin' something with a stick.
I got a bad feelin' in my heart and something told me to run over there fast and when I did I could see that Hyrum was pokin' a rattlesnake and it was coiled up like it was goin' to strike. I didn't even take time to think. I pushed him out of the way with one hand and with the other I picked up a hoe and chopped that snake in two. My heart was beatin' so fast. If I had been a moment later Hyrum would have been struck and as big as that snake was it would have killed him.
Hyrum was just sittin' on the ground cryin and lookin' at me and that's when I seen Faith runnin' out to where I was. At first she looked really mad and glanced from her son to the bloody hoe; I think she thought I had wacked little Hyrum with it maybe. Then she looked on the ground and saw the snake. She picked her son up and then she hugged me so tight I thought she'd break my ribs. She just kept sayin' "Thank You" and then she started sayin' she was sorry for her sin of jealousy and said she'd pray to Heavenly Father to forgive her for sowing seeds of discord against me with Sariah. I didn't know what to say. I didn't feel right tellin' her I'd forgive her because I never felt she had really sinned. I knowed it must have been hard. So all I said was "It's OK, Faith. Let's get this baby in the house."
Back inside Faith ran up to Ephraim who had just come in from the fields and told him all how I had saved their son. Ephraim kissed me and told all of us we should thank God for my bravery.
After that a lot changed for me. Faith and I had become friends and learned we had a lot in common. Her mama had died too and although her daddy was in the Church and had other wives, she always missed her mama. She also had been married to Ephraim after he had gone to her Daddy after a particularly hard winter four years ago. And like me it had not been easy at first. When she came in as Ephraim's wife, Sariah was heavily pregnant with her third child. She said Sariah hated her and was filled with jealousy because Ephraim spent more time in her bed. But she dared not show her jealousy completely because if she did Ephraim would punish her by skipping nights with her. She said for Sariah that was probably worse than getting' switched because she loved Ephraim so.
Faith said things changed after she got pregnant with Hyrum. The bigger she got the kinder Sariah was mostly because she won't as threatened and Ephraim started comin' to her bed more. But Faith said that when that happened she got a touch of how Sariah felt and that understanding was a gift from God because it made her see Sariah as a sister who had feelings. Now, she said, the two of them get along fine although she admitted things had taken a turn for the worse now that she and I had become friends.
"I think Sariah ain't just jealous over Ephraim now; I think she's jealous over me too," Faith had said. "I don’t think she likes me bein' friends with you but I'm prayin' about it. I know God will hear my prayers and we'll all be sisters in our hearts soon."
But I won't so sure because the nicest Sariah had ever been to me had been after Ephraim had punished her. After that she seemed to harden her heart more than ever and I think she really wanted to get me back somehow. In fact, lookin' back on the day the laundry got ruint I can see that was exactly what she was lookin' for.
It was the Wednesday before our big church meetin' and Sariah as head-wife was assigning chores as usual. I was responsible for getting' all the nice clothes done for nine people - four adults and five children. Ephraim was very serious about his family bein' pressed and polished for church so I got up early and was happy to see that the sun was up since it had rained two days before. By seven o'clock I had the water boilin' for the wash and by ten o'clock I had half of it done and on the line. By twelve I had all of it done and was proud of myself and pleased at the thought of how we'd all look come Sunday in our white, starched things.
Then I saw Sariah whisperin' her seven year old son, Gardner. I didn't think nothin' of it until I was about to dump out the wash water and saw Gardner running around near the lines. I yelled to him to stay away from the wash since I didn't want him to splatter the clothes with mud. He ran the other way and I turned to bail out the washtub. That's when I heard laughing and seen him throw a stick straight over the clothesline for his pet hound dog, Wolf. And I seen Wolf run straight towards my laundry splattering mud all over it. And then I seen Gardner glance back at Sariah and she looked at him and then right at me with laughing eyes and didn't say nothin' to him at all. But I did. I went right up to Gardner and shook him by the shoulders. I admit I was angry. "Gardner, you know better!" I yelled. "Why did you do that?." Gardner looked me dead in the eye and said I won't his mama and he didn't have to listen to me. And I told Gardner that the way he was actin' no one would guess he had a mama because obviously she was only teachin' him wickedness.
The next thing I know Sariah is out in the yard, yellin' at me that I'm teaching her son to disrespect her and I was yellin' back that I won't stupid and knowed she put him up to runnin' Wolf through the mud. We were right on the verge of hittin' each other when I felt Ephraim's hand on my shoulder and the next thing I know he was pushin' us both into the house and yellin' to Faith to take all the kids out to the barn to see the new kittens.
I know now that I was wrong to say bad things about Sariah to her son, but at least I took responsibility for what I said. But Sariah flat-out lied to Ephraim and wrung her hands and cried as she told him a story of how I was persecuting her son because I liked Faith better.
By now I was really mad but got myself together enough to ask Ephraim to question Gardner. I think the look of fear on Sariah's face convinced him to do just that and he told us to stay put while he fetched his eldest son. While he was going to the barn, Sariah turned to me, and when she spoke it reminded me of what a snake would sound like if it could talk.
"You with your blonde hair and pretty skin," she said. "You are a prideful girl. You think you're the favorite now, don't you?. Well Ephraim don't play favorites when it comes to justice. You'll get yours."
I didn't want to respond so I said nothing. When Ephraim came in he stood in front of us for a minute and when he spoke he addressed Sariah first.
"You lied to me, wife" he said. "Gardner told me the truth and you know what that truth is."
Then he turned to me. "I understand that you were angry. Sariah's sin of jealousy has led her to wrong you. For that she will be punished. And while I don't blame you for being angry, I am ashamed of you for the way you handled yourself. You should have come to me with your grievances and I would have heard you. There is a chain of authority here. I have dominion over my wives and children. And as mothers Faith and Sariah have dominion over their children when I am not here. I will not tolerate your sowing seeds of disrespect in Gardner's mind against his mother. So you, Annalee, will also be punished as well. Sariah, go prepare yourself."
Sariah got up and climbed the stairs without a word.
Annalee, this is your first time. You go to your room and remove your skirt and undergarments and stand in the corner contemplating your sins. I will come to you when I'm finished with Sariah."
I felt like I had been kicked. I was the victim here - not Sariah - and yet I was going to be punished as well Although Ephraim had said his beatings were nothing like Papa's I still had the same cold ball of fear in the pit of my stomach. But I obeyed my husband and went up to my room, which was next to Sariah's.
My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the laces on my skirt and I had just removed it when I heard the sound of Ephraim going into Sariah's room. I could hear through the walls as I stood there in the corner.
Ephraim was lecturing Sariah about her sinful pride and telling her she had a lack of faith in their love if she was resorting to warring with her sister wives. He told her she was setting a bad example for not only the other wives but also for her children and for that he would not stand. He told her she needed a hard lesson and so he would use the paddle. Up until that point I had heard only quiet sobbing from Sariah but when he mentioned the paddle I could clearly hear her gasp and begin to plead for mercy. I had heard Sariah be phony enough times to know when she was being genuine, and I could tell even through the walls that her fear was for real and even though I was angry with her I felt pity just the same.
For a second it was quiet other than Sariah whimpering. The next sound I heard was a loud "pop" and the sound of Sariah's scream. Then there was another pop and another scream and then another and another until they all blended together and those screams melted into cries that sounded more like they were coming from an little girl than a forty-year-old woman. Then the sounds of the paddling stopped and I could hear Ephraim gently soothing Sariah and then I made out sounds of his praying for her. A few minutes later it was quiet again and I figured Sariah was just give out because she didn't say nothin' and was just crying real quiet-like.
That's when I heard my doorknob turn and glanced around to see Ephraim filling my doorway. For a second I wanted to duck and cover myself since I was sure any minute he'd start swingin' a belt or a switch or a paddle at me. But he didn't. Instead he walked over to where I was standin' in the corner and dropped a kiss on top of my head before askin' me if I was afraid.
I didn't lie. I said yes, I was scared. I didn't tell him how scared. I didn't tell him I was so scared I felt like I was going to pee or cry - or both.
Ephraim turned me around and walked to the bed and sat down. I was standing in front of him, too tense to be totally conscious that I was naked from the waist down but this was what he had commanded, so that was the way he found me.
He took my hands and told me that he loved me. He told me he knew I was afraid but that it was a healthy, respectful fear and that sometimes it was good to be afraid if it led one to being a better person. He said in his life God had punished him for his sins and those punishments had taught him lessons. He said God had appointed him to look after me and Sariah and Faith and his children and it was his duty to correct us so we'd stay on the right path.
He told me he was going to put me across his lap, and since this was my first time disobeying him he'd only spank with his hand. He said I was to lay still and was not to fight or try to stop him even though it would hurt so bad that I would want to. Then he prayed to God to give me strength to endure my punishment and learn from it. His "amen" signaled the end of his prayer but it was the beginning of my penance as I went facedown over his lap. I was aware of his arm around my waist and aware of his hand laying on my bottom which had never felt so bare. And even though this was nothing like the made beatins given to me by my Papa I think I was more terrified and ashamed over Ephraim's lap. I knew in a way I deserved it and I knew he was going to hurt me to bring a positive change and not just to get something out of his system. So even before the first lick I knew the pain of real regret for my actions.
Still I wasn't prepared for how bad it would hurt. Ephraim's hand was large and hard from years of field work and I couldn't imagine at the time that a paddle could be worse. I howled when his palm hit my bottom with full force and tried to scooch up and off his lap, but he raised his voice in a warning to hold still so I did. Again his hand fell. And again and again. There was nowhere to go - no escape as each fall of his hand landed with a burning, bruising pain.
I always prided myself on being calm, but that night over his lap I acted more like a frantic kid than a married lady. I begged, I cried, I pleaded but Ephraim either wasn't listening or didn't care. He just kept spanking me and the last ones he gave to me right on the bottom of my cheeks and the tops of my thighs made me scream so loud that I was sure the children in the barn could hear.
Finally I just went limp and after a few more spanks Ephraim stopped and just rubbed my back with his hand before turning me upright and sitting me on his lap. I didn't want to sit and tried to stand but he gently pulled me back down and said, "No, Annalee, it's not for you to decide". So I obeyed and tried not to squirm as I sat there on his lap waiting for my breathing to return to normal.
Ephraim took a handkerchief from his pocket and dried my eyes and then held it to my nose and told me to blow. I did. Part of me wished he'd just let me keep the handkercheif over my face so he couldn't see the pain in my eyes.
He did see, though and kissed me gently on my forehead and talked to me in a way my Papa never had.
"Annalee, you are my wildflower," he said. "But you must understand that even wildflowers must obey the laws of God. If a wildflower disobeyed and sprouted in the winter it wouldn't last. It must obey the laws of God and sprout in the spring. It must live within the order of things. I see a lot of strength in you, Annalee, and I know right now things are tough. But you must endure and obey. Even if Sariah goes against you that doesn't mean you must do the same. It will only bring punishment to you both. I love Sariah but she has become bitter and jealous although she has no need to be. You have done nothing to invite her anger, but if you join her angry games and break the rules it will keep you from flourishing. Do you understand?"
I nodded because I did understand. He was right. Getting back at Sariah had not been worth getting punished. I resolved not to try harder to cooperate.
The night Ephraim punished me and Sariah, he came to neither of our beds. Instead he went to Faith. Through the walls I could hear her moan with pleasure under his hands just as Sariah and I had heard one another cry in pain under them hours before. I wondered if Sariah could hear and if she did whether or not she realized that at that moment we were both sharing emotional and physical pain caused by Ephriam.
In the dark of my room, I wept. Hearing Ephraim with Faith I could understand some of the jealousy that Sariah felt each time her husband took another wife to his bed. But part of me also wept for joy at knowing that even if I had to share him I was at least getting to spend my life with a good and decent man who cared enough to teach me what I needed to now.
And I still feel that way even now that it's a year later. I don't think Faith and Sariah feel exactly as I do but I do think they'd agree that our lives together are good. I know mine would have been worse if Ephraim hadn't come to take me away from Papa's. If he hadn't then I might be somewhere else instead of here on this farm. Come next month I'll give birth to his sixth child. I'm lookin' forward to givin' my baby a better growin' up than what I ever had.
